Love Is More Than Enough

Maybe in my head I think that I understand this better, but I hear quite a number of people say “love is not enough” these days. In Nigeria, that is the mantra among life (and death) coaches, marriage consultants, and motivational people.

Now, I (want to) understand what these people mean when they say that love is not enough. Particularly with romantic relationships headed towards marriage, it is imperative to understand that how you feel will not provide what you need. Relationships are sustained on indices of mutual provisional capacity to bear the burdens of one another. You would sooner wilt if you expect that your mushiness will see you through to age 75 with the woman of your dreams. No. There must be practical considerations.

The affectionate beauty and all that y’all got going on will not put food on the table, simply put. Therefore, “love is not enough”.

That is where my problem is though. How do we, as Christians, simply because we are trying to make a point, go on to reduce the value of love to something that is insufficient? How have we reduced all our human emotions and mushiness to mere nothingness, and then commit the heinous crime of labelling the inadequacies of human emotional attraction and all that as “love”?

We should never make that mistake.

Love is who you become daily when you meet Jesus Christ.

Understanding love helps us know that there is a true fullness to what love is. In the Bible, love is always described as the greatest of its fellows. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul writes of the beauty of the gift of the Spirit, of tongues and prophesy. But he ended the chapter by telling his readers that there is a more excellent, incomparable way to live. And we all know 1 Corinthians 13 comes after 1 Corinthians 12.

In Colossians 3, Paul describes love as the perfect bond.

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if someone happens to have a complaint against anyone else. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also forgive others. And to all these virtues add love, which is the perfect bond.
Col 3:12-14 (NET)

All over the Bible, we see how love is described as the loftiest of virtues, and as the most valuable character trait to pursue. And in there I began to understand that love is not what you feel when your hormones are running Need For Speed over a fine young lady.

Love is who you become daily when you meet Jesus Christ.

Love is what tells you to quit stepping on the accelerator when your hormones are on the race tracks. Love pushes you to work to provide for your family. Love makes you expend your energy on valuable skills that can enable you be useful at work and at home. Love helps you to serve well in church, and in the community.

Love basically helps you to prioritise the joy and well-being of the other people in your life above yours. In that vein, you end up being more and more selfless in your relationships. If you truly stop to consider, love is not something you add extras to. It has all the extras!

So a young couple in love cannot be said to not be in love because they are unable to provide each others’ needs. The man must then get a job because his love is not enough. No. His love is why he will get a job because he understands that he must provide for the other’s needs, and vice-versa.

The church is making the mistake of thinking that love refers to mere sentimental dispositions and affections that run in the bloodstream. So wrong! Even the Bible warns against that.

So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. Phil 1:9-11 MSG

Love is choices and decisions that push to the fore the well-being of the other persons in our life. Love is sensibility and intelligence, and good decisions regarding the right things to do in properly sustaining relationships. Love is wisdom. All those things that people tend to see as the “extras” that make relationships work are, in truth, all subsumed in love.

Love is the perfect bond.

So what is the purpose of this post? I do not really know. Maybe it is an early Sunday morning rant. Maybe. But I really hope that when next we are giving relationship advice and all that motivational talk, we can really say the truth to people.


You see, because when we say love is not enough, we are telling God He is not enough, because God is Love.


Suggested Readings:




4 thoughts on “Love Is More Than Enough

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s