My First Wife, Happy Birthday

No, you are not really my wife. We both know that, and some other things we both know too. 🙊🙊🙊

But seriously, I still cannot believe you studied in obodo oyibo. Your village style of Yorùbá is something else. Kingston. Unbelievable. Kingston Awoyaya, maybe. 🏃

Toyosi, happy birthday. I am grateful I met you. You are one of the few people who do not give me grief for not calling or texting. Remember this text you sent me?

I am calling because we know you are likely to forget to call.


You just love me and I am grateful. Every time I think about you (yes I think about you a lot), I only just know that we always continue our love from wherever we stopped the last time we saw each other. You are a big friend to me.

So a list of things about you, yeah? Here goes:

 You like me. That sounds silly, but it is true. 😍

 You care a lot. A whole lot. And it is almost impossible for you to hide it. You care about me, your other friends, about him and many other things. You are really caring. You care about me so much, you give me the biggest yabs when you think I am not doing the right thing. Just like an African mother would. 😒

 You know when I’m nervous, and you know how to get it out. Imagine me, pacing around the chapel on a Thursday evening, moments before I go up, and that message just came in. “Calm down, everything would go fine.” I could just hug the life out of you that night.

 You are not judgmental. I know how judgmental people can get you crazy and all. If I want to get to you, I should just act judgmental. But seriously, I can confess my sins to you and be comfortable they won’t be on a blog the next day. I am that confident. You’ll only call me a goat. 🐐

 Your custard is bae. In over five years, you are the first person who got me to have custard. That Milo mix is superb by the way. 👍

 You like food. I don’t know how you have retained your awesome shape with the way you eat. I’m still wondering how you managed to eat pounded yam and egusi soup on the road to Lagos. Hian, you are a real wonder. 😱

Just look at the plate of food in front of her…

 When you’re nervous or annoyed, the way you switch between Yoruba and English, one spicing the other, is epic. It really takes a lot for me not to laugh, honestly.🙊 Only Bolanle does it better.

 You are very honest. Very honest. You just don’t know how to pretend, or hide your feelings, so you tell the truth. No keeping up appearances, like seriously. Who pretence epp?

 The way you say “basically” is just on point. Hot, and on point. Like, baeyzickly. 😍😍😍

 When you wear that blue dress from Estini fabrics, please let people not let it get to your head that you look like Elsa from Frozen. Elsa Wetin? 😒


 “Like” and “as in” are important parts of your vocabulary. Weirdly, I barely hear you say “innit”.

 You are easily overwhelmed. Sometimes, it seems you don’t believe that good things can happen to you, but really, isn’t that what happens to good people?

 If you start a cleaning business, I think you will be a huge success. Apart from the fact that the finest CLASFON girls joined your unit and started cleaning (with makeup and all), you guys clean good.

 Please, your voice is fine. Just don’t sing. Talk. Let it finish there.

Whatever information is not here is classified. And it is much. Don’t mind me. I’m very happy today. I went to church. Yes, be surprised.

If there is anything I am most grateful for, it is the fact that you make me want to read my Bible even more. Some times it’s because I know you may ask me one question that may throw me off balance, but it is most of the time because I cannot explain the hunger you have, and why just really want to understand what the Word says. It makes me realise how much of a gift hunger for God is, and I don’t want to relent in seeking more depth in the truth. You shouldn’t either.

I really do love you. This is a day I should take you out and all that stuff but the day is nearly over. Good news is, you can do it on February 27!!!

Do you know that when you walk, you walk like you’re on a runway?

Okay, enough said. 🏃


2 thoughts on “My First Wife, Happy Birthday

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