Captain Bed-Wet

So one time, I had this dream. I must have been like ten or eleven then and in my dream, I was the head of a contingent of British soldiers. It was wartime and we were fighting the Americans. We were fighting for a very tiny piece of land, not up to half of a plot. Thing is the soldiers from both sides were up to a thousand and the land was so small. Ridiculously so.

So I make haste, as leader, and hoist the Union Jack on the land, declaring it property of the Crown. Americans didn’t agree at all, and we began to fight. It was bloody, so messy. Soldiers falling on either side, it was like a movie. Tired from killing so many people, I called everyone to order. Every one. At my voice, every single soldier stopped and paid attention. Then, I announced that I needed a break from all the fighting, so I could take a leak. Okay, they all agreed and watched me go off to a small corner of the tiny piece of land to relieve myself.

I never came back. I never knew what happened after that. That’s because the dream ended there. Because I could feel the warmth spreading all over my shorts and my bed and I knew straightaway that I had wet my bed.

Please, I stopped bed-wetting early on in life but we all have those moments where you wet the bed because you had a dream about you urinating or something, so don’t give me that crappy look.

Anyway, the dream kept recurring in my mind recently. I just felt like sharing. If you’re looking for a way this makes sense, I pray you find it. I’m just having fun.

Good night. Don’t wet the bed.

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