So good to be back writing after some time off. The rigours of life as a…what am I even? Oh forget it.
I cannot describe how life has been in the last few weeks but I know something cooler than usual has happened in my heart. Retracing my steps I really know it that since 2011 when I of my own volition gave my life to Christ, I never really fully committed to living for Him. I know the thought is always there but I us u a lump end up going my own way than the way of Christ and presume that’s the right way to go. And I really never let go of my own desires. They drew me away, enticed me and…
I’ve never really been comfortable in my desires really, deep down. I discovered that I just always wanted out of my crazy actions and I just always wanted out to make sure I did not continue in that manner.
That’s not good right? Yeah. Especially when your crazy decisions have really drawn in other people and affected them and there is heartbreak and all that stuff.
And you want out so bad because you know pleasing yourself does not please God but you really want to please people too and doing what you’re doing pleases them but you want to please God and not yourself or people and you’re just like “aargh!” Oh man!
It’s never easy to let go of the world and face Jesus but you can’t make a commitment to follow him and look back. Remember that thing about ploughs and looking back and not being worthy? Yeah…that. It is exactly what rings in your heart to make sure you are going against your spirit and conscience in persisting in following your desires and keeping people happy at the expense of God. You know, that’s just wrong.
So you take a look at the mirror. You can’t really hurt yourself right? You want whatever you want so bad and now you got it you wanna keep it. You don’t wanna hurt the people who are happy with your desires cost it satisfies their desires. But you can’t go on so you go on a limb and stick out your neck for the purpose of going after God. Your people are angry. Mad. You’re friendless. Untested. Worthless.
To those people at least.
But to God. Yeah, a son is back home and that’s all that matters. And all is forgiven. All is forgiven rings over and over in that little head and you can breathe again. There’s that fellowship with the Father that’s restored. Oh…sweet.
I get this but deep down I really usually feel for people. I’ve hurt many properties really and they just never understand when I make decisions and say I want to please God. They tend to think I’m just stupid not to go right on and tell God to make a way for my plan and when I disagree with them on that, they just log off and see me in darker lights.
I always feel hurt to think I’ve hurt people by doing the right thing and usually I try to make amends by trying to apologise and all that. God watched me do that for some time till He pulled me down and said quite clearly; if you’ve appeased me, you don’t need to appease any other person who does not want to be appeased. All sacrifice for sin is found in the humbling unto death of my Son Jesus and His blood has washed all your guilt away. So toucan live in my grave or try to engage the grace of my creation, the offended.
Rather harsh but it is rather true. No one should hold you down because they feel offended by decisions you made to grow and become better in your relationship with God. They may be hurt but that gives them no right whatsoever to make you feel unworthy, rejected or hated. Pick yourself up and be assured of the grace of the Father alone. Apologise to them for their hurt and comfort them. If they accept and forgive you, great. If they don’t, move on in your walk with Christ because all of those mistakes have been forgiven and done with and no one on earth can withhold or withdraw your pardon from sin and guilt. Hebrews 10:16-18 reminds us of that:
“This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the Lord: I will put My laws on their hearts, and I will inscribe them on their minds,
and their sins and their lawless deeds I shall by no means remember any longer.” Now where there is remission of these, there is no longer any offering for sin.
Halleluyah. Praise God. God is all powerful and their can be no greater sacrifice availing you right now than that of Christ. No apology will do more that that.