My Eyes Have Failed Me

For we walk by faith, not by sight

********************

It is impossible not to see the wars
How can you not? The country is burning
Insurgency has taken its toll on us.  We are
Left
Distressed
Troubled by the killings. The manner of the attacks
And it does not get any better. They get bigger. They form alliances
I shudder. I cry
Tears and blood everywhere. For
My people. And so sad
I worry. I worry well

I fear for the future. Where
Is the famed better future
Not here. Yet. I see. Do I?

There are children
On the streets. Fighting
For survival. For dear life
I fear for my seed. Where
Will they end up. Here?
I see. Do I?

I have a little money
It changes it all
I forget. The sights
The suffering children
The dying. The dead
I survey beauty instead. I look for it all
I trade my money. Luxuries come in
Gadgets. Android. Virtual messenger. Old versions. Beta. Better?
I’m living my life. Days in the sun

Babes and chicks. Chicken!
Or turkey? Grilled. Thanks
I plan the life. The house
The car. Ferrari? Too low
Nigeria factor. Explorer it is then
The babe. The lady. The woman

And some charity work on the side
For image. Good deeds
Let them see what I do
Of course. I try. Not easy
Church. Yes too. Popular pastor
Must preach prosperity. God bless me

Faith? Of course. On point. Like be God, right? I do. Believe him for what I want? You bet!

How blind I am. I see
The trouble in it all
The world. Overturn and overrun
Calamity everywhere
I think only of myself
I lose faith. Fearing. Fear
Pushes me
To see the other side
Luxury
I grab all. Fearing. Fear
Of that which may come
Let me live my life
I enjoy today. Tomorrow I die
By whose hands. I know not
Boko Haram. ISIS
I care not
I must live today.

Oh but such fear in that
Such fear. Such great fear
For my eyes have blinded me
I have become
Ephemeral. World closes me in
And fear. Fear takes it all
And I think my faith
Has brought me fear
Has it? For my fear was my faith
Brought me
To seek the luxury of satisfaction
The satisfaction
Of luxury. The list.
I have lost
My faith. Gone

A fool’s paradise
I am in
For my sight. It has blinded me
My sight has blinded me
Blinded me to see
To see distractions
The faraway callings.

I have been drawn. Away
No longer looking
I cannot gaze again
I do not see Jesus
I see me. For I am blind

Oh it is me I see. Why me?
Oh yes. Driven by fear. Into list
I plunge. I dive. Swim in lust.
Yes do. Please.

I thought I saw. And
I am indeed blind.
And I fall into me
I am now in me. And I
Cannot be my saviour.

For my sight has blinded me

My eyes have failed me

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s